Tuesday, 20 May 2014

WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN BLOGGING

I haven't been updating my blog and you may be apathetic about this 'excuse', it's LEGIT and it's killing me.

The fact that I can't do what I do used to do everyday and function like a normal person, even the simplest tasks such as sitting down, lying on the bed, driving, eating my food and doing work has become a arduous feat everyday.

I can't even tell you guys exactly what it is because the doctors are clueless as f*** and none of the 7-8 doctors I've seen could give me a conclusive diagnosis of my condition. Since we don't know the root of the problem, we can't treat it. I've done blood tests, biopsies in hopes of shedding some light on this sickening condition but alas, they all turned up with insubstantial results:(
Western specialists have said it could be an inflammation of the sweat glands, or even parathyroid and Chinese Physicians have mentioned something about my lymphnodes and what-not.

So here I am, exasperated, exploring and attempting every possible modern and ancient method of reducing the swell, the pain and the spread of these abominable sebaceous lumps (thanks to Google). I've tried at least 10 different courses of medication, creams, powders, herbs, damn I've even tried bread. YES, you didn't hear me wrong, WHITE BREAD!

Nothing's working and it's spreading like an uncontrollable virus towards my ankles and there ain't a thing I can do about this other than take what I'm already taking and just.. wait.

I wish I could tell you more but I can't cos' I don't know. Felt a swell on my left eye last week, not sure if it's due to the horrid weather or if my body's just too heaty. It has since subsided after I rested in bed for a week.

Which comes to my point of this post. I wanted to apologise for the lack of blog posts cos' I just haven't had the mood to do much other than going for some events just to get out of the house to cheer myself up, and posting some photos every now and then. It's really hard to do, because I have to put on a smile, when inside, really, I'm feeling helpless and torn apart. It's been 5 months since this started, it felt like I put my trust in the wrong doctor after he cut me up and the cysts relapsed. I feel ugly, and I feel cheated!

It's a difficult period, but worse things could happen right? I've decided to live and work at a slower pace, try to relax and not think about it cos I know being vexed about it is only going to make things worse. Friends and family have been extremely concerned and helpful and I'm just very thankful for all the love and care.

Also, I wanted to take this post to remind all you sweets to take good care of your health! Drinks lots of water, do your exercise (I'll start mine when I can start jogging or jumping!) and sleep early! 
Not to forget, keep a happy, positive state of mind and put on a smile for yourself, and for others always! Don't take your health for granted just because you have youth now. So while you keep all these in mind, and your body in check, go do what you love, take the gap year you've always wanted, take up painting if that makes you happy, go on an adventure with your loved ones and just take a risk!

So if i'm not updating regularly, please pardon me. Since I can't sit for more than 5 minutes at a time, it's hard to do simple things that I used to take for granted. I will try to blog more, and upload all my exciting features soon and make more videos (already have one in the making, coming soon to this week!) 

All I'm asking is, be patient and stay with me.



1 comment:

  1. Perfectly understand what you have been going thru. I have a fairly similar experience. Rest and take care! Health is most important

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